Make me more.

It's been a long unique journey to finally say, the older I get the less worried I am about what I will do with my life.
The reason behind that is, because the older I get, the more I realize how much more I want to know Christ.
And after a 2 year absence period, I grow to be thankful for it.
That 2 years of struggling with depression, apathy, general lack of not caring, anger, hurt, and emotional ups and downs I come to recognize my need of more of Him, not the need of more ministry.
Because the more you grow in Christ it will just happen, its our response.
I talked to the pastor of the church that I work at today and told him about me leaving the church. That I should chill out from being a youth pastor and kind of " find" myself again.
I think now is the time for me to find Christ again more and more.
Because in Him lye hidden all the things I want.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self control.

I want to be driven in a whole new way.
I want to forget the past, not in the since of not learning from it, but learn and move on.
All good, bad, and okay things I've done.
I don't want to be remembered for any of it, but rather be remembered and talked of because of my love for Christ.
And from that love people in a refreshed, new, right way.
I use to share my opinions alot.
You know the cool hot topics of election, drinking, etc.
Instead now I want to follow through with scripture.
Not saying I want to master faith but rather be mastered by Christ.

One important lesson a friend of mine taught me along with Luke 6-9 is that faith takes time to grow.
Even the disciples after eye witnesses to who Jesus was wavered in their faith.
When the storm came, they wavered.
When 5,000 people came hungry, they wanted them to go away, they wavered.
Then Jesus ask, " Who do you say I am?"
I figured Jesus thought they would know by now seeing how He has spent all of His time pouring into these men.
The only one answered.......
Was it because Peter was the only one after all this time understood who Christ was?
I like how a centurion man was named to have the best faith in all the land.
And he was someone who spent no time with Jesus......

It tells me, even after years of walking with Christ, after seeing eye witness accounts to His goodness, that it takes time to grow.
Even the story of John the Baptist asking Jesus if He was the real one or should He wait for someone else.
Even John, the man born to tell only of Christ and proclaim Him had his moments.

You as well will have moments.

I learned in these "times" to not be hard hearted and turn away but to simply ....
continue.
There is a purpose. And we will always be seeing from our perspective, Lord willing, for me, that will change but for the most part we only see our angle on things and in that angle we won't see much.

I don't want to fall in love with Jesus, I want to live in love with Jesus, grow in it.
Falling can go in or out, I'd rather just stay in the constancy of things.
And as I draw near and you draw near to Christ, the worries of less important things decrease.
Such as popularity, future items, etc.

Stop praying for more " things" or more joy or peace or etc.
and just ask for more Jesus.
Its all about Jesus.

Everything is about Him.
Love Him, treasure Him, walk with Him, and experience life with Him.

Stay in the truth and let it set you free.
Remember the gospel.
Remember Jesus.

Merry Christmas.

I would like to know.

This is a poem I wrote after watching videos about sex trafficing.
It has some words in it you may not feel is appropriate but its truthful and honest.
I hope it encourages you some.


Jesus, I am a brothel.
Not a living sanctuary where people can find more of You
but a dwelling of hurt, hate, anger, and wrong disposition of You.
I want to long for truth.
Be a man that’s after You.
Not just another one who confesses and turns
with his dick in his hand longing to lust after youth and burn
with a temporary passion that will run away
and take me somewhere I don’t need to be.
Far away from You, filled with apathy.
I want to lay in green pastures
I want to find the well spring of life flowing through You
flowing in me too.
I want to see life the way that You do
loving my neighbor the way You taught me too
I want to produce fruits from the Spirit
I want to walk hand in hand in a peaceful land where the cool of the day and the light on my face shines a way straight to the Fathers throne where I can sing and dance at all the good He has done.
I want to be a REAL MAN
one who pursues purity and righteousness
who memorizes the word of Truth for Your word is truth
so I won’t sin against You.
I want to hate sin as much as You do for it does no good
only separates me from You.
I want to be lead by the Spirit
teach Your name to the masses
Trust in you even when there isn;t havoc’s
Lead a family one day and they be know as addicts for Your love in their veins
not prodigal son run aways
I want to be a friend who is always there, lifting up support on my knees in prayers
I want to fully trust and have faith
to look not at your hands but on Your face
knowing You will provide.
Only by Your grace I am saved
its nothing that I did to earn my way
but only what happened that faithful day
when you embaced the world in the sweetest hug ..
Father most of all
I need less of me……

and more of You.
As I decrease
I become more like You.

Just as I am.

I think the worst part about finding out a family member is about to die is the apathy that comes with it.
In the moment of receiving that someone that you have had your whole life has 2 to 4 weeks to live, the emotions behind it are.. grey. Lack of feeling is one of the saddest things I think a person could ever feel, a general lack of care.
When you read Jesus wept and se His heart, you just want the same, cause all other words will fall short of the weight of the situation.
Your prayers then turn to " I hope they are right with You, God."
and the realization of them entering hell becomes real.
The realization of us as Christians being so selfish with our gift.
"I love you, I'll tell you I do and never share the gospel with you."
This is what it has come down too.

enjoy what we have reduced love too
miss faith
enjoy faith
miss what we have reduced love too

I hope I observe Christ and worship Him for who He is so that I may do ministry out of the over flow of thankfulness
and my words of " I love you." follows with action.
Follows with showing someone the TRUTH.
The way to Christ.
Thats I love you.

Yourself?

This question: Who am I?
Finding identity is one journey everyone can relate to....... and I hope by the end of the post you better understand who you are.

Your a: mother
father
husband
wife
child
teenager
adult
colleague
perfectionist
apathtic
lonely
alone
sad
introvert
extrovert
energetic
Christian
Jew
Athetist
Baptist
Methodist
Redneck
State fan
gator fan
a person
a nonbody
etc.

You get the picture.
Here are tons of labels we stick ourselves with like the bumper of a car.
In this life we are constantly sticking ourselves with these identity ideas and I believe along the way we miss the point of who we are .. or should be.

How about a child ?
a son?
a daughter?
a princess?
a prince?
how about..... holy ? eh?
righteous?
blamless?
loved?
Have you ever given these a ponder?
Ever looked in the mirror and instead of saying " Gosh, I'm fat" say " I am righteous" " I am a prince" " I am loved" Insecurities come from lack of identity I believe. Controversy comes from not knowing a stable you.

Here is what I learned? When Adam chose to disobey God and peace out on the garden of Eden( place of pleasure, perfection, and home) he opened up a gate of the human race trying to fill a void in their hearts.......

Lets think on this....Your hungry.. you eat.... hours later hungry again? right ?
When your hungry you eat.
In todays terms now.. Your wanting sex? get some... hours later.. want it again? right?

We are allllll searching for something to fill this pleasure spot in our hearts. We all want someone to secure our insecurities, to tell us " we are pretty, loved, prince, princess." etc. well.... lets be honest here....we need to hear those words like we need to eat when we are hungry ..When we start feeling an identity crisis ... we find someone to tell us something secure..but the words of man has no weight... no depth....

I believe the words of the creator, God, has depth.... it has this weight.. and root growing quality.
God tells us to put on the new man. The one according to His likeness in righteousness and purity of TRUTH.( EPH 4:24) How about that ?
Put on the new self of yours! The one stable in truth! The one thats according to Gods look!

The reason this is good news is because God NEVER HAS AN IDENTITY CRISIS!!!!!
He is constant( hebrews 13:8)

He is always the same.
Eph Chapter 1 is a very stable view of who we are.
I encourage you to read it.

Dear friends,
Take off your false self. Stop being someone your not. Stop being so hard on yourself cause you can't forgive yourself of a mistake. Stop allowing satan to keep you from feeling apart of the beloved. You are loved. Eph 2:4-7If Christ Jesus is in your heart, if He is whom you believe and trust and live for..You are sealed my friend! You calm that identity !

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so! (Psalm 107:2)
Scripture is full of identity building versesI encourage you to find these as I found one for myself this morning..

Sanctify them by truth, Your word is truth John 17:17

Know the truth
Live the truth
be washed in truth.
Clothe yourself with it.

Now, if this is your "thorn" in your flesh... and this emotional .. depressive ... who are you struggle is yours..Then I encourage you friend to not ask to have it taken away, but ask God for more of His grace. It could be your reminder, and being reminded of who you are everyday isn't so bad..I speak from experience.


Friend have a great day.
Message me for questions of thoughts.

In love, through love, to love you :)
in which I do!

- Cameron.

P.s as usual I don't proof read. sorry for miss spelled words or grammer errors.
Also, this dumb website crammed the way I wrote together. POOP!

Sometimes I don't care. Sometimes I swear to God. He knows my tattered soul. He knows my broken heart.

One of my new favorite lyrics from a song I've really been enjoying lately says this
" I've given all of my heart to all my friends that needed it."

As I first started writing this note/blog I was writing on the topic of how people hold on to way to much in their life. " This person hurt me, they hurt my feelings, I feel as if they..etc"
But in the mist of writing I felt that what I was writing about was relating to me .... and my heart.

You wanna know about love?
Let me tell you something.
I have loved.
I have exhausted myself to love people who in return did not love me.
I spread myself thin over a people group.. giving my heart away.. opening up my hurts to be vernable to allow someone to feel they can open up as well...
This lead to a very open and popular lifestyle that brought along parts of hell...
As satan would tangle truths into lies.
I found myself being talked about.. alot... I found myself making mistakes and never repenting because the very person that talked about me would come to me for advice, we would chat, they would do better and off with our lives ... and I would still be talked about.

I loved so freely and so openly ...
and so many people disagreed with that lifestyle..
"Don't open up so much, don't share your heart etc.'
I would hate for all of us to all walk around with heavey hearts afraid to talk about whats really going on in the inside and allow ourselves to fall apart.
What kind of world or place would it be to walk around bottled up all the time?
We would all be emotional wrecks.
"I can't share my heart or love on people because someone would talk about me."
thats trash.
I lived my life like that and hit bottem..
For many reasons to which we won't dive into..

Your thinking, " why is he writing this?"
I'm getting there ... now
I became soooooo bitter toward people.
Didn't care anymore who I hurt, didn't care to hug, didn't cared if you cared.
I was a shell walking around, an empty cup who was very numb.
You want to talk about being bitter, I know it deeply.
I know apathy that you wouldn't imagne.

It was as if I left the light and walked right into the dark.
I changed.

I am now allowing Christ to mend my heart.
and I won't further that because I also learned its okay to keep somethings to yourself ;)

I'm starting to love people in a new way.
Learning from my failures and mistakes.
and starting to enjoy who I am, a son of Christ and cameron moore.
I want to love people.
I want to talk about Christ.
I want to hug.
I want to be at peace.

heres a good
" God isn't here to make your dreams and wishes come true. He has His own plans for you. The truth is that His plans are far better than yours."

You see, I believe as people we spend way to much time holding on to things.
The whole " this person hurt me, you hurt me etc etc"
We hold on so tight to " I don't like this person blah blah blah"
why?
do you really want to live with the chains of that?
That chains you.
It starts small and grows roots into deeper things.
You'll find yourself holding grudges more easily, find yourself talking about someone more.
I know, because I've been there.
Sometimes we, you and I need to toughin up, and understand that sometimes our feelings are going to be hurt. People will hurt them.
It happens.
When those moments come it doesnt have to be a sit down talk, blame game.
Sometimes I belive you should brush things off.
Sometimes people do or say something that had no wrong intentions, didnt mean to hurt your feeling by no means, just so happens your feelings were hurt.
And if you sit down with everyone that happens with you'll be talking about your hurt the rest of your life.
Learn to loosen the grips of holding on.

I'm not saying don't communicate through problems, sometimes things need to be talked through, then sometimes they don't.
Don't live your life making a big deal out of things.

In Eph 1 Paul is writing a letter telling the church what their identity is.
Its beautiful.
We are His inhertance, adopted, to bring praise to His glory.
He loves us.
We are sealed with the Holy Spirit that is a promise.
If we spent more time focusing on that instead of
" I'm hurt I'm hurt"
More hearts would be mending.
More peace would come.

When you start holding things in your hand, your hands slowy become full, before long you can not hold anything else.
Maybe today, you and I both need to say " I forgive those who hurt me, Lord I let go of everything in my hands and put them in yours, allow me to experience freedom."


So let's communicate love
And ultimately not everyone communicates the same.
Don't stop loving people because of some haters or lame people, don't you forget you've had a season or more where you were lame and a hater... and it last longer for some folks ;) ( just sayin)

Loosen up your grip on perishable things ...

And hold tight to something worth clinging too.
Not bitterness or your feeling being hurt. Because the truth is this and I'll end with this

People will talk about you if you sit inside your house all day and did nothing, they'd say" why do they sit inside all day everyday, something must be wrong with them," and people would talk about you if you walked around all day doing something.

Enjoy today. Be you. Live for something great. And continue life, as it is the process we all walk through.

Also, don't leave some debating commeant thats dumb and lame.
This is for the ones who honestly have been bitter and struggling with holding on to angry and hurt.
Its okay to let go. Don't trust me ... trust Christ.

This is a note to the ones who need to be them selves again.


loosen the grips...

p.s I didnt proof read hahah

Field and Flower

" You loving me, made me a man."
Thats a quote from ps I love you...

I believe in it again...
I believe in the fact that there is love...

love like the songs
love like the movies
love like magic


Love like hands touching wildflowers as you run through a field at dusk
love like the morning sunrise
love like the perfect stillness
love like kissing in the rain
love like dancing in the streets with the lights playing a tune

I believe again.

People write music
people direct movies
people make magic

So I believe with the right person, you can make all 3.

So, Cameron Moore will fall in love like this.
I have made many mistakes, hung out with alot of the wrong girls..... I mean alot
but also I have hung out with the right ones...
and I have realized that some may have said I was a player, I will say I was just figuring out what I wanted
and what I want is peace.
Now that my soul is finding the true peace in salvation in God and I'm learning how to be loved first by Him, my heart is believing again.

Believing that I have a fresh start.
Believing that freedom is my calling
believing that I can date.
Believing no one... no one can complete me .... like God can.

You see I don't need a girlfriend.
For I am complete and fine alone in Christ.
But I choose to have a partner ... one to endeavor life with.

See I have missed that mark so many times...
tried to date all the wrong ones and right ones.. before my time
and I can truely say I'm in a great healing time.
I begin to pray for my wife again today, I stick to my guns on this one.
No hanging out or texting or leading on the ones that I don't in vision anything with
but wait .... and just know..
cause I believe

just a little something I was pondering.

My love for writing is coming back.. slowly but surely...
I'm finding depth and creativity again.

Is there any other name

What really dwells inside of me?
What is it that really drives the passion and desires of my heart?
Am I in love with Christ or in love with what comes with Christ?
So if I'm stripped of everything can I still worship God?
You see someone's love for God if they can pursue Him even after everything else is gone.

Second Place Victory.

I believe every new beginning needs a fresh start.
Every fresh start needs to forget a past...
and every forgotten past needs to be learned from.

This is my new blog.
One where I will be more guarded, but more honest.
Some post will be just what I've been learning in scripture.
Others will be what I'm learning as I set path to be a son of God, to be who I am, not who I long to be.
You can also except light breezy convo's and thoughts.
This is a new beginning.
One where I embrace singleness, face my failures and the forgiveness I've experienced and plunge into a graceful peace.
This is me, living my life. This is me, living my life in Him.

Enjoy my new site as I record the events, wonders, ponders, and dreams of my journey.


" Lets show them how to live, accept the pain, always forgive, watch the sun go down, learn the sound of following all thats Complete."

Lets learn from one another.