Sometimes I don't care. Sometimes I swear to God. He knows my tattered soul. He knows my broken heart.

One of my new favorite lyrics from a song I've really been enjoying lately says this
" I've given all of my heart to all my friends that needed it."

As I first started writing this note/blog I was writing on the topic of how people hold on to way to much in their life. " This person hurt me, they hurt my feelings, I feel as if they..etc"
But in the mist of writing I felt that what I was writing about was relating to me .... and my heart.

You wanna know about love?
Let me tell you something.
I have loved.
I have exhausted myself to love people who in return did not love me.
I spread myself thin over a people group.. giving my heart away.. opening up my hurts to be vernable to allow someone to feel they can open up as well...
This lead to a very open and popular lifestyle that brought along parts of hell...
As satan would tangle truths into lies.
I found myself being talked about.. alot... I found myself making mistakes and never repenting because the very person that talked about me would come to me for advice, we would chat, they would do better and off with our lives ... and I would still be talked about.

I loved so freely and so openly ...
and so many people disagreed with that lifestyle..
"Don't open up so much, don't share your heart etc.'
I would hate for all of us to all walk around with heavey hearts afraid to talk about whats really going on in the inside and allow ourselves to fall apart.
What kind of world or place would it be to walk around bottled up all the time?
We would all be emotional wrecks.
"I can't share my heart or love on people because someone would talk about me."
thats trash.
I lived my life like that and hit bottem..
For many reasons to which we won't dive into..

Your thinking, " why is he writing this?"
I'm getting there ... now
I became soooooo bitter toward people.
Didn't care anymore who I hurt, didn't care to hug, didn't cared if you cared.
I was a shell walking around, an empty cup who was very numb.
You want to talk about being bitter, I know it deeply.
I know apathy that you wouldn't imagne.

It was as if I left the light and walked right into the dark.
I changed.

I am now allowing Christ to mend my heart.
and I won't further that because I also learned its okay to keep somethings to yourself ;)

I'm starting to love people in a new way.
Learning from my failures and mistakes.
and starting to enjoy who I am, a son of Christ and cameron moore.
I want to love people.
I want to talk about Christ.
I want to hug.
I want to be at peace.

heres a good
" God isn't here to make your dreams and wishes come true. He has His own plans for you. The truth is that His plans are far better than yours."

You see, I believe as people we spend way to much time holding on to things.
The whole " this person hurt me, you hurt me etc etc"
We hold on so tight to " I don't like this person blah blah blah"
why?
do you really want to live with the chains of that?
That chains you.
It starts small and grows roots into deeper things.
You'll find yourself holding grudges more easily, find yourself talking about someone more.
I know, because I've been there.
Sometimes we, you and I need to toughin up, and understand that sometimes our feelings are going to be hurt. People will hurt them.
It happens.
When those moments come it doesnt have to be a sit down talk, blame game.
Sometimes I belive you should brush things off.
Sometimes people do or say something that had no wrong intentions, didnt mean to hurt your feeling by no means, just so happens your feelings were hurt.
And if you sit down with everyone that happens with you'll be talking about your hurt the rest of your life.
Learn to loosen the grips of holding on.

I'm not saying don't communicate through problems, sometimes things need to be talked through, then sometimes they don't.
Don't live your life making a big deal out of things.

In Eph 1 Paul is writing a letter telling the church what their identity is.
Its beautiful.
We are His inhertance, adopted, to bring praise to His glory.
He loves us.
We are sealed with the Holy Spirit that is a promise.
If we spent more time focusing on that instead of
" I'm hurt I'm hurt"
More hearts would be mending.
More peace would come.

When you start holding things in your hand, your hands slowy become full, before long you can not hold anything else.
Maybe today, you and I both need to say " I forgive those who hurt me, Lord I let go of everything in my hands and put them in yours, allow me to experience freedom."


So let's communicate love
And ultimately not everyone communicates the same.
Don't stop loving people because of some haters or lame people, don't you forget you've had a season or more where you were lame and a hater... and it last longer for some folks ;) ( just sayin)

Loosen up your grip on perishable things ...

And hold tight to something worth clinging too.
Not bitterness or your feeling being hurt. Because the truth is this and I'll end with this

People will talk about you if you sit inside your house all day and did nothing, they'd say" why do they sit inside all day everyday, something must be wrong with them," and people would talk about you if you walked around all day doing something.

Enjoy today. Be you. Live for something great. And continue life, as it is the process we all walk through.

Also, don't leave some debating commeant thats dumb and lame.
This is for the ones who honestly have been bitter and struggling with holding on to angry and hurt.
Its okay to let go. Don't trust me ... trust Christ.

This is a note to the ones who need to be them selves again.


loosen the grips...

p.s I didnt proof read hahah