Oh no no no Oh no

I don't claim the identity of Christian or Christ follower to be anything else.
If reading my bible is a responsibility then I'd rather pray and never open my eyes again.
I would never want to be the heart behind the saying " its our duty."
No
It is our delight.
I refuse it to be anything else.
Loving people is a gift from a bigger gift.
Christ is a big gift.
Life is a gift.
And death is natural.
I hope in my time here I can understand what it means to love and be loved by Jesus.
I hope to understand grace.
I hope to fully experience it, even with the emotions.
I hate when people opt those out.
I believe emotions come from God.
Jesus expressed them well, so don't tell me its not emotional.

I don't understand the cross.... or the good news.. gospel..
but from what I do, I know I need it and so do you and everyone else.

I won't claim to be a Christian of Christ follower and not try to look like Him.
Even in my grey days, sad days, in apathy, I'm still connected.
I do not want to know Him, I know Him.
I don't want to love Him, I love Him.

Alot of Christians always say, I need to know God, I need to love God.
Do it, live it , be it.
I hate that we don't treat this as who we are.
Stop separating it so much.
Be who you are, hopefully its like Jesus.

Turn me into someone else, someone more like Yourself.
Thats what really we need.
Belief that He cares to be connected to us and we don't have to live like He is something separate than us.
He is apart of me.
and you too.